A Dyspraxic Abroad

This Blog is to give publicity to the Dyspraxia Foundation e book 'Dyspraxic Adults Living in a Non Dyspraxic World'  A self help book for adult dyspraxics..Available on Amazon £9.99. Mary and I have donated any profits we will make to the Dyspraxia Foundation Adult support groups.
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Today I am sharing with you my experiences of travelling abroad.

A Dyspraxic Abroad 1

People tell me I’m very brave to go on holiday on my own and think its brave for a non-Dyspraxic single woman to be alone traveller. They also think its brave because I’m dyspraxic. I’m not brave I’m getting on with my life but when I eat beetroot salad at my work desk while wearing white trousers you have my consent to say I’m brave, :-)

No one told me I had dyspraxia and that this label meant I couldn’t be independent. I was left to get on with it. My Brother Robin (RIP) had a severe type of dyspraxia and Tourette’s and needed a lot of input from various support services. Mine wasn’t identified until I was 33 when I was having issues in my workplace. If I have received appropriate support to improve my potential by getting an early diagnosis I could have achieved more and be more financially successful but that doesn’t mean I would be any less successful in a non-materialistic way. However, if I’d been held back by my label and everyone had low expectations and my mum had done everything for me and not let me learn life-skills for myself I would have been worse off.

I have been a lone traveller on and off since I was 19. I went on a camping bus tour to Spain, Portugal & Morocco and got lost in Marakesh. I followed this the next year with a nine week camping trip in a minibus with a group of mainly Australians & New Zealanders who didn’t like my scattered braineness and quirkiness and cos I was a Pom. I lost my cabinbag in LA airport (but got it back at Heathrow on the way back.  and must have left something behind in every campsite. I got lost in New York and ended up with the camping trip driver collecting me in a police station. It reminded me of the Hill Street Blues without someone crashing through the glass screens. I was disappointed that the police station was so quiet. 

 For the last couple of years My best friend Caroline hasn’t been able to go on holiday with me. I couldn’t afford to go with a group like when I was younger so I really have gone on holiday on my own without being in a group so I have help if something goes wrong, but I have better coping strategies. But I did leave my headphones in the hotel bedroom last year but anyone could do that. Oy! Gevalt!  Shock ! horror! alert the British embassy! A dyspraxic with no sense of direction & blurred vision travelling abroad alone!

I went to Ovacik In Turkey in 2014 without any mishaps I mainly got the Dolmus to Oludeniz and went to Hirossanu in the Evenings. I did feel a bit self-conscious and like Billy nomates in the evening. Some night’s I stayed at the hotel especially for  Turkish Night Where I showed the Belly Dancer the Dyspraxic Style of Belly dancing. I went to the Night club the Talk of the Town which I enjoyed. but I was the only person on my own there. I also went on the ubiquitous boat trip and took the Dolmus to Fethiye one night and once during the day.

In 2015 I decided not trek to the beach every day so I stayed on the Main Strip in Oludeneiz. There was a lot of noise at night so I watched videos to drown out the noise so I could sleep. Its was more of a resort for solo travellers and I got used to my own company.  

I was less confident than the year before as I also have Keratoconus and my vision is was blurred than the year before. I thought I would need assistance to get on the right aeroplane but both Manchester Airport and the Turkish airport have large signs and there where screens everywhere. I’m not sure what Rhodes Airport will be like. When I went to Kos with Caroline the airport was much smaller with less screens for departure announcements. It was all Greek to us and we nearly got on a Plane to Siberia. This year I will ask or assistance if it’s a similar type of airport. We both went in Gents toilet by mistake in Santorni and she’s not dyspraxic. :-)

I could have just chilled out on the beach but it wasn’t as hot as last year before as I’d gone a couple of weeks earlier.  I discovered my vision is better in strong sunlight. I got dolmuses to Fethiye, Kayakoy, Kidrak Beach and Kas. I never got round to the  ferry to Calias beach. I thought I was getting the Ferry to Butterfly Island but realised I was being conned into another boat trip, that had a stop at butterfly Island, but decided to stay on the boat. A young single Finish woman was being mithered by the captain who was old enough to be her farther. I got chatted up by the man who drove the motorboat that pulled an inflatable banana and he was young enough to be my son, ;-). I enjoyed my holiday time I will defiantly go back to Oludeneiz. But this year I’m going Solo in Pefkos in Rhodes and Part 2 of a ‘Dyspraxic Abroad’ will be about my holiday. 

 Here are the Coping Strategies I shared on various Dyspraxia Facebook groups and in the dyspraxia Foundation’s Magazine last year, with some additions.

• ·         Check on Facebook if there is a group about our resort for tip, you can also find out if the Facebook group arranges any meet up and if there are other solo travellers to go for a drink with at night. Check their profile to see if they have anything in common with you.
• ·         Make sure you have all the documents you need close to hand including your passport, boarding pass& transfer voucher., in a transparent plastic wallet
• ·         Pick a location you know well if possible. (although this year I’m going somewhere new).
• ·         Buy a very distinctive suitcase or tie a scarf to your old one to spot it easily on the carousel
• ·         Say somewhere central near all the amenities so you don't get lost finding your hotel/ apartment (not doing that this year either0.
• ·         Or budget or a taxi if you get disorientated and have an apartment up a hill.
• ·         Wear slip on shoes, no belt or jewellery for going through security (if you have dieted before your holiday make sure you don’t wear anything that is too loose and might fall down your ankles). J
• ·         All liquids not more than 100 mls in clear bottles in transparent small zip lock freezer bag
• ·          Make sure you phone is charged before going out especially in the evening.
• ·          Get a lightweight power bank to carry with you or emergencies for our mobile phone & make sure its charged up.
• ·         Medication with repeat prescription in another freezer bag
• ·         use hand luggage bag that doesn’t come open easily.
• ·         Sit near departure board to see flight announcements
• ·         Find out where gate is to give you time to find it without doing it at the last minute.
• ·         When at destination find holiday rep or look for airport transfer desk some have computer that tells you where our transfer bus is.
• ·         Avoid unlit areas at night.
• ·          Use Wi-Fi to text you have arrived safely or regularly update your Facebook Status.
• ·          & don’t forget to share with us your holiday photos.
• ·          Also a good way of telling people you are ok.
• ·         If exploring on own look for landmark to get off & on bus.
• ·          If lost get a taxi to your hotel.
• ·          When Packing for home use check list to make sure you don’t leave anything behind and look on floor near bedside table to see if anything has fallen on the floor.
• ·          If you intend to get really drunk, do it near your hotel or at your hotel or get a taxi back, or go on an evening excursion that takes you back to your Hotel/ Apartment.

Most importantly ENJOY YOUR HOLIDAY.

My relationship with food and how I manage to maintain my target weight.

This Blog is a blatant way of marketing E book  ‘Dyspraxic Adults Surviving in A Non Dyspraxicworld available on Amazon. All proceeds are donated to the Dyspraxia Foundation Adult support Groups. There is also a chapter on Dyspraxia & Exercise.

Today I am going to share with you all, my relationship with food. My years of yoyo dieting and binging and how I have lost 24 lbs managed to  and maintain my target weight for nearly 2 years.

 As a teenager I was a hopeless at PE, I couldn’t spell and used to unintentionally say things to offend my peers. I was brown, Jewish, uncoordinated and had curly frizzy hair, and I had a well-developed bust for a 12 year-old compared to my flat chested classmates. So you could say that I stood out as being different and was a prime target for bullies. So I used to comfort eat to compensate.

My Dad (RIP) who was a Doctor didn’t come home from work until 7:00pm. We had to wait for him to come home and eat together as a family so I’d snack in between meals. My well-meaning dad had lived in poverty when he was a child and liked to make sure there was enough food for the family. He used to buy boxes of crisps, sweets and chocolate from the cash and carry and we were allowed to help ourselves. I avoided exercise like the plague so I didn’t show myself up at school. I preferred copying out of a dictionary for detention for half an hour rather than facing 2 hours of ritual humiliation of P.E. By the time I was 12 my weight shot up from 8 stone to over 10 stone.

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I asked my dad to help me lose weight so he bought me fruit and yoghurt

instead of sweets. I managed to get down from a size 16+ to a 14. This started a cycle of yoyo dieting and binging. With my clothes ranging from size 12-16. Every time I put it back on I would get slightly bigger with my heaviest weigh in at 12stone 12lbs.I tried various diets always regaining. Joined Weight Watchers and got to target weight and became a lifetime member but put it all back on. So you could say I had dyspraxia and bulimia as I forgot to throw up after my binges.:-)

 This went on until my mid 30s. Dieting made me feel in control of not being happy at work and having an uncoordinated body and if I binged it made me feel miserable and full of self-loathing. I was on antidepressants by then. I hadn’t disclosed my binging. I worked in a job that definitely didn’t bring out my full potential and I was again a target for bullying. So one day I was actually having not a bad day but couldn’t control my binging. I decided to have a Chinese take away and decided that this would literally be my last supper. I took an overdose of Prozac. At Casualty I just had to drink charcoal as it wasn’t toxic enough to need my stomach pumping. I actually felt cheated that I couldn’t have my stomach pumped.

 After that I decided I would never diet again. I read Suzanne Kato’s. ‘Never diet again’. I ate when I was hungry and didn’t when I wasn’t. This simple technique worked and is now known as Freedom Eating. I stayed at between a size 10-12 and went to a gym and the binging stopped. 

 I was fine for 20 years until I reached the Menopause. My Hormone Replacement Therapy increased my appetite I started comfort eating again. I was eating lots of chocolate cakes and crisps and not fruit and veg. On New Year’s day in 2014. I weighed 11 stone. I was reluctant to diet in case it brought on binging & suicidal ideation. Then I saw a photo of me pretending to be drunk on New Year’s Eve and I looked like a frumpy fat middle aged woman. I dieted on my own & lost 4 lbs but I I struggled to lose any more as I craved huge chunks of cheddar cheese in the evening rather than fruit. I reckoned as I felt in control of my life and I felt a success as a person since setting up a successful dyspraxia group and getting some qualifications. I had a part time job where I fitted in. So I took a risk as I thought that there was a good chance that dieting wouldn’t trigger binging again.

 I researched into Weight Watchers and Slimming World. It seemed you got more to eat on Slimming World which would suit my hormone induced hearty appetite. and there was a class literally round the corner from my house. Here was also a local gym on my way to work so I went here 2-3 times a week.  There was a young gym instructor who did the abs class which was far too advanced for me really. He was very encouraging. When I told him that I was dyspraxic he said he was too and ‘isn’t it awful’. I was so gobsmacked that I didn’t try to tell him dyspraxia isn’t awful and that its why he was such a friendly helpful instructor who would get on well with clients from all walks of life. Apparently he enjoyed sports and did remedial P.E. and tried several sporting activities to improve his coordination rather than avoiding them like so many other dyspraxics. He told me he still got accused of being drunk when he wasn’t.

 I joined Slimming World in February 2014. They were a friendly supportive group. I did find it difficult and lost the weight very slowly at ½ lb a week sometimes maintaining. It took me 5 months to lose 19 lbs.  A target member doesn’t have to pay if they stay within 3lbs each side of m their target weight. They only ned to weigh in once a month. I managed to maintain within my target of 9st 7lbs for over a year and became a diamond slimming world member and I was awarded the diamond member of the year sash. I also liked going as before I joined my local slimming world in Ordsall as I didn’t know many people.in my neighbourhood and now more locals say hello to me in the street.

 If I was going on holiday I’d keep 2lbs below my target before I went and go back on slimming world plan as soon as I got home. Ordering my groceries on the internet for the day after I got home.  While maintaining I’d still eat food the sliming world way and have extra bread. Then a couple of days a week Id eat more treats then go back on plan if I I’d gone over the top. To my relief I haven’t binged once. One of my favourite foods to balance out or pullback after a holiday is watermelon as a snack and drinking lots of water. Or to replace pasta and noodles with courgette noodles or beansprouts. usually on an average day though I have potatoes, rice or pasta all part of slimming world. The Healthy extra A 3 Baby bels satisfies my craving for cheese and I like Hi fi bars. instead of having milk in my tea I add a slice of lemon. I’m not a big drinker I prefer to eat solid food for treats for syns. I don’t count every one now I’m maintaining and instinctively seem to know what my body needs.

 As soon as I made any progress I used to injure myself and have consider alternatives to going to the gym..I switched on QVC to see how many inventive ways the seller could talk about how marvellous an everyday product was and how we all couldn’t live without it. I saw the body blade being advertised. It sounded just what I needed to tone me up without going to the gym. It was invented by Bruce Hymanson an American Physiotherapist and is good for coordination and core stability. So it’s  very good for dyspraxics providing you have a paper lampshade in your living room and not a crystal chandelier. On the body blade Facebook group Leslie Sansone Walking Videos were recommended. I found the steps were easy enough for me to follow where other workouts warm ups were difficult enough to co-ordinate, without doing the fast bit. I now do her advanced walk with hand weights.

I also bought an Urban rebounder so I could do more advanced workouts without damaging my joints. So what if I don’t get the moves perfect I can do intermediate without falling off my trampoline. I exercise 6 days a week at home usually first thing in the morning. More often than when I went to the gym and have made more progress without injuring myself.

My HRT was making me behave like a cross between Attila the Hun & the Grumpy Grufallo so I gradually came off it.  I find exercise helps with my hormonal grumpiness. The combination of my new exercise regime and coming off the HRT made me go more than 3lbs below my target weight without even trying, so it was definitely the HRT that contributed to my very gradual weight loss. So I decided to reset my target weight to 9 stone as I was at 9stone 2lbs, rather than putting it back (In case it triggered my binge eating again).

 So for the past 5 months I have maintained my new target weight at the moment I’m slightly below it.  I like eating healthy foods and if I really fancy something less healthy I ll have it but don’t just eat things at work because they are there. I have a few treats at home but eat the higher calories foods at work if out for a meal or at a friend’s house. I also joined Debbie Flint’s Sister facebook group to the Bodyblade group. ’Til the fat lady slims’ which teaches Freedom eating, which is what I did 20 years ago. In the book Debbie gives an account of how she got out of dieter’s prison stopped yoyo dieting and broke free from binging.

Some people have hinted that I might not be eating enough. They are reassured when they see me eating something high calorie or ask me how can I be slim and eat so much. If you do slimming world it’s not how much you eat but what you eat that counts. Men look at me on the tram and some smile. I’m not good at reading men’s body language telling if that means they fancy me. Sometimes I think they are smiling because I’ve left my jean’s zip open occasionally I have :-). I’m more well-toned and slimmer than I was in my 20s & 30s and I actually have a small waist. I have received a lot of compliments about my figure and how well I look especially from people who don’t see me very often.  

The Story behind Dyspraxic Adults Surviving in a non-Dyspraxic World.

This blog page is about the history of the new eBook Dyspraxic Adults Surviving in a non-Dyspraxic World. and is a blatant excuse to advertise the book.

I was thinking of writing a book on adult dyspraxia but hadn’t got round to it .I was sick of feeling like the bridesmaid and not the bride as I have been a case study in a few dyspraxia and neurodiversity books but I had not published my own book.
Then about 4 years ago. Mary Morris (Dyspraxia Foundation Manchester Adult) Support group contacted me on Facebook and half-jokingly said she wanted to lobby me to help her write the ‘Idiots Guide to Dyspraxia’. I looked at the submission form and thought that submitting an idea for a dissertation looked a much more easy option. So we agreed to get permission from the trustees of the dyspraxia Foundation to write a book on Dyspraxia in Adulthood as Mary Colley’s last edition of ‘Living with Dyspraxia’ was not updated after she very sadly passed away in 2009. The book is dedicated to her.

We could have just updated her book but we both wanted it to be a completely new book with the theme that we were surviving in a world where the majority of the population are non-dyspraxic. We also wanted to show that the term ‘dyspraxic’ shouldn’t be embarrassing that needs to be brushed under the carpet, instead it should be something to be proud of. We wanted the book to be positive and inspiring and be good for dyspraxic adult’s emotional well being.

We set up a facebook group with the same title as the book. To provide emancipatory research. We recruited several volunteers to contribute to the book, by writing chapters. Mary and I set questions so that the group could share their experiences of living with dyspraxia and their coping strategies. While the book was being written we had over 200 members with about 20-30 making regular contributions. When the book was finished. I was intending to close the group down.. I didn’t have the heart to do this as membership had more than doubled. The facebook group by popular request became a support group and now we have over 3,000 members. (Mainly thanks to Marys positive posts and encouragement). Mary and I appointed admins to negotiate when members were falling out with each other as it was too much for 2 to manage. For reasons mentioned in my other blog posts My life became hectic and Mary Morris became poorly, so thanks to the Admins for running the group for us.

The book got input from dyspraxic professionals. Including an occupational therapist, Speech and Language therapist, Neurodiversity job coach, crèche worker, librarian, job centre plus worker and several more as well as people from all walks of life.

Janet Taylor Britain’s first Falldown Comedienne

Some of you may know that I do stand-up comedy for a hobby and for fundraising events. (or in my case ‘Fall Down Comedy’).
I’m a dyspraxic, dyslexic menopausal Jewess who used to be on Prozac. I’m 55 single and prefer the company of 4 cats as living with 4 cats is much more fun than living with one knob ‘ed. (family version, cats don’t leave the toilet seat up)
I used to think that G-d was a woman but G-d must be a man a woman wouldn’t make middle aged women menopausal at a time in life when they have to be patient with their elderly Mother. I’ve got the tolerance of Attila the Hun crossbred with the grumpy Grufallo. Still it could be worse at least we don’t live in the same house or we would kill each other.
Here is a video of my dyspraxia set

My life is one big comedy set waiting to happen. There’s no point in agonising about my dyspraxic mishaps so I get people to laugh with me instead of at me. Some scenarios are true while others are wildly exaggerated. You may be wondering how someone with a working memory in the 6th percentile can actually remember her set. The truth is that I don’t always. I work this into my set especially when I’m doing my gags about the funny side of being dyspraxic. So I work it into my set so you can’t tell if it’s deliberate or not. It’s harder when doing my characters because staying in character and remembering my set uses up more working memory. Its not easy to Make ‘Cat Woman’ the posh but northern eccentric “purrfect”, ’Constance Abundance’ the Judgmental Holistic therapist being “awesome”; or ‘Rabbi Cohen Nesbit’ the alcoholic Rabbi being “wankered”. I have also done comedy improvisation which gets me out of a hotspot and being spontaneous gets more laughs than keeping to my set. I also seem to be really good at changing my accent and whole persona so psychologists must be having an absolute field day.
I was a very self-conscious shy teenager who used to get booed or heckled when I walked into a classroom or my synagogue youth group. So why would I now want to expose myself to risk history repeating itself. I guess I got used to the negative attention and now I’m a bit of a masochist. I learned to be the class clown in an attempt to get people to like me and it worked. I have been using humour as a defence mechanism ever since.

In 2010 my brother died suddenly and my bereavement affected my work performance. I became depressed and it didn’t help with my mood-swings when I started the menopause. I was expected to deliver presentations from memory. I was so anxious and depressed. I was criticised for not delivering presentations to the standard my boss expected which made my anxiety even worse. The more I tried the worse I got. I used to do presentations in my own unique way but I found that I couldn’t even deliver my dyspraxia awareness work without feeling like bursting into tears.

I still had a good sense of humour and used it to cope and mask my insecurities and grief. I was told by friends and work mates that I would make a good stand up comedienne. They may well have been taking the piss but I thought learning stand-up would help me get my confidence back with public speaking.

I Googled stand-up comedy courses and found that John Cooper (Comedian not poet) was putting on a 6 week course at the Lass O Gowrie pub. So I went along. I asked if I could skip learning how to put the microphone back in the stand so that I could concentrate of delivering my stand up as to learn this skill would have taken up so much working memory that I wouldn’t have learned anything else. Or fumbling with the mike stand could have been part of my act.
John told me that I was funny but I was ridden with such low self-esteem and internalised oppression that argued with him that I wasn’t funny and he didn’t want to hurt my feelings. To this day I’m still not 100% sure that I am really funny or I’m laughed at because I’m crap. I do get a lot of laughs but I’m not sure if it’s for the right reason. I’m a self-doubting Jewish dyspraxic. If that’s not comedy gold I will eat my cat. Woody Allen should be ‘quelling’ (beaming with pride).
So anyone who likes to get wasted, get high or who gets off on adventure sports standup is a safer alternative, it gives me a real buzz.

I still can’t do some presentations from memory but I can now improvise but then again I have got my mojo back So every cloud has a silver lining. So thank you to my X boss if it wasn’t for you I wouldn’t have learned to do impro or standup.

Dyspraxic Adult Surviving in a Non-Dyspraxic World: Have I overcome my Dyspraxia?

Dyspraxic Adult Surviving in a Non-Dyspraxic World: Have I overcome my Dyspraxia?: Sometimes I get feedback from my dyspraxia awareness work congratulating me on 'Overcoming my dyspraxia'. I know they mean well I ha...

Dyspraxic Adult Surviving in a Non-Dyspraxic World: Am I a dyspraxia Sufferer?

Dyspraxic Adult Surviving in a Non-Dyspraxic World: Am I a dyspraxia Sufferer?: The last blog showed you that although I have had some shortcomings followed by some success I still have dyspraxic issues. You may wel...

Am I a dyspraxia Sufferer?

The last blog showed you that although I have had some shortcomings followed by some success I still have dyspraxic issues. You may well ask does that mean that I am a ‘Dyspraxia Sufferer?. I cringe inwardly when the press describes one of my people as a dyspraxia sufferer during dyspraxia awareness week. I insist that during dyspraxia awareness week that journalists choose to ignore my requests and I’m far from gentle about it when they do. (the local kids don’t call me terminator with-out good reason). I complained to the Dyspraxia Foundation and find that it is their policy not to describe us in these terms but the media seems to love using it. Before my life got really busy and I delegated moderating to my volunteers to the facebook group that was part of my research for the book E Book ‘Dyspraxic Adults Surviving in a non-dyspraxic World’ Many new members have described themselves as ‘suffering’ from dyspraxia or that they are a dyspraxia sufferer. As an anti-oppressive practitioner I try to empower them in a gentle but assertive way without jumping down their throats that this was a disempowering way to describe themselves. That they have dyspraxia, they live with dyspraxia but my preferred tem is that I am ‘dyspraxic’.,Now it wouldn’t be very mindful of me to let my ego get the better of me & wipe the floor with people who opinions will not be changed and they genuinely believe that they are dyspraxia sufferers. However lets unpick the term ‘sufferer’ The Oxford English dictionary defines the verb Sufferer as; Experience or be subjected to (something bad or unpleasant): to (suffer from) Be affected by or subject to (an illness or ailment):The Noun Suffering (The state of undergoing pain, distress, or hardship): My opinion is that s that if I identified myself as a dyspraxia sufferer this suggests that I that dyspraxia is a dreadful illness and hat I am a frail and helpless victim that has no control over my life and that I live in a state of constant pain. Yes I have experienced frustration, discrimination, social exclusion and bullying along with anxiety, depression and periods of long unemployment. However My suffering has been due to societies lack of awareness of dyspraxia, plain ignorance or indifference about my differences and not my actual dyspraxia. This type of suffering is relevant to how Mindfulness describes suffering This. is when we feel overwhelming negative emotions which can be increased by attaching negative thoughts and stories to negative emotions. Unnecessary suffering can start when we begin to revisit the event and attach negative thoughts to this experience. This is what distracts us from our real emotions. We need to realise that we live in a state of impermanence and that everything has an end therefore, we need to be aware of our emotions only and recognise what they feel like. Feelings of grief and loss are amplified because we expect that this will not end. We need to learn that suffering exists and is part of life through which we can grow and learn and that everything is in a constant state of change, so if suffering begins it will definitely end. For example: I once had overwhelming feelings of anxiety, low self-esteem and believed I was unemployable and stubbornly held onto this belief until it became self-fulfilling. I was on a real pity party but all parties have a beginning a middle and an end. This state definitely is not permanent as I’m in paid work now. So readers although my life can still be difficult due to my dyspraxic differences, I’m anything but a dyspraxia sufferer I’m far from being a helpless victim who has no hope or control over their lives.