My relationship with food and how I manage to maintain my target weight.

This Blog is a blatant way of marketing E book  ‘Dyspraxic Adults Surviving in A Non Dyspraxicworld available on Amazon. All proceeds are donated to the Dyspraxia Foundation Adult support Groups. There is also a chapter on Dyspraxia & Exercise.

Today I am going to share with you all, my relationship with food. My years of yoyo dieting and binging and how I have lost 24 lbs managed to  and maintain my target weight for nearly 2 years.

 As a teenager I was a hopeless at PE, I couldn’t spell and used to unintentionally say things to offend my peers. I was brown, Jewish, uncoordinated and had curly frizzy hair, and I had a well-developed bust for a 12 year-old compared to my flat chested classmates. So you could say that I stood out as being different and was a prime target for bullies. So I used to comfort eat to compensate.

My Dad (RIP) who was a Doctor didn’t come home from work until 7:00pm. We had to wait for him to come home and eat together as a family so I’d snack in between meals. My well-meaning dad had lived in poverty when he was a child and liked to make sure there was enough food for the family. He used to buy boxes of crisps, sweets and chocolate from the cash and carry and we were allowed to help ourselves. I avoided exercise like the plague so I didn’t show myself up at school. I preferred copying out of a dictionary for detention for half an hour rather than facing 2 hours of ritual humiliation of P.E. By the time I was 12 my weight shot up from 8 stone to over 10 stone.

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I asked my dad to help me lose weight so he bought me fruit and yoghurt

instead of sweets. I managed to get down from a size 16+ to a 14. This started a cycle of yoyo dieting and binging. With my clothes ranging from size 12-16. Every time I put it back on I would get slightly bigger with my heaviest weigh in at 12stone 12lbs.I tried various diets always regaining. Joined Weight Watchers and got to target weight and became a lifetime member but put it all back on. So you could say I had dyspraxia and bulimia as I forgot to throw up after my binges.:-)

 This went on until my mid 30s. Dieting made me feel in control of not being happy at work and having an uncoordinated body and if I binged it made me feel miserable and full of self-loathing. I was on antidepressants by then. I hadn’t disclosed my binging. I worked in a job that definitely didn’t bring out my full potential and I was again a target for bullying. So one day I was actually having not a bad day but couldn’t control my binging. I decided to have a Chinese take away and decided that this would literally be my last supper. I took an overdose of Prozac. At Casualty I just had to drink charcoal as it wasn’t toxic enough to need my stomach pumping. I actually felt cheated that I couldn’t have my stomach pumped.

 After that I decided I would never diet again. I read Suzanne Kato’s. ‘Never diet again’. I ate when I was hungry and didn’t when I wasn’t. This simple technique worked and is now known as Freedom Eating. I stayed at between a size 10-12 and went to a gym and the binging stopped. 

 I was fine for 20 years until I reached the Menopause. My Hormone Replacement Therapy increased my appetite I started comfort eating again. I was eating lots of chocolate cakes and crisps and not fruit and veg. On New Year’s day in 2014. I weighed 11 stone. I was reluctant to diet in case it brought on binging & suicidal ideation. Then I saw a photo of me pretending to be drunk on New Year’s Eve and I looked like a frumpy fat middle aged woman. I dieted on my own & lost 4 lbs but I I struggled to lose any more as I craved huge chunks of cheddar cheese in the evening rather than fruit. I reckoned as I felt in control of my life and I felt a success as a person since setting up a successful dyspraxia group and getting some qualifications. I had a part time job where I fitted in. So I took a risk as I thought that there was a good chance that dieting wouldn’t trigger binging again.

 I researched into Weight Watchers and Slimming World. It seemed you got more to eat on Slimming World which would suit my hormone induced hearty appetite. and there was a class literally round the corner from my house. Here was also a local gym on my way to work so I went here 2-3 times a week.  There was a young gym instructor who did the abs class which was far too advanced for me really. He was very encouraging. When I told him that I was dyspraxic he said he was too and ‘isn’t it awful’. I was so gobsmacked that I didn’t try to tell him dyspraxia isn’t awful and that its why he was such a friendly helpful instructor who would get on well with clients from all walks of life. Apparently he enjoyed sports and did remedial P.E. and tried several sporting activities to improve his coordination rather than avoiding them like so many other dyspraxics. He told me he still got accused of being drunk when he wasn’t.

 I joined Slimming World in February 2014. They were a friendly supportive group. I did find it difficult and lost the weight very slowly at ½ lb a week sometimes maintaining. It took me 5 months to lose 19 lbs.  A target member doesn’t have to pay if they stay within 3lbs each side of m their target weight. They only ned to weigh in once a month. I managed to maintain within my target of 9st 7lbs for over a year and became a diamond slimming world member and I was awarded the diamond member of the year sash. I also liked going as before I joined my local slimming world in Ordsall as I didn’t know many people.in my neighbourhood and now more locals say hello to me in the street.

 If I was going on holiday I’d keep 2lbs below my target before I went and go back on slimming world plan as soon as I got home. Ordering my groceries on the internet for the day after I got home.  While maintaining I’d still eat food the sliming world way and have extra bread. Then a couple of days a week Id eat more treats then go back on plan if I I’d gone over the top. To my relief I haven’t binged once. One of my favourite foods to balance out or pullback after a holiday is watermelon as a snack and drinking lots of water. Or to replace pasta and noodles with courgette noodles or beansprouts. usually on an average day though I have potatoes, rice or pasta all part of slimming world. The Healthy extra A 3 Baby bels satisfies my craving for cheese and I like Hi fi bars. instead of having milk in my tea I add a slice of lemon. I’m not a big drinker I prefer to eat solid food for treats for syns. I don’t count every one now I’m maintaining and instinctively seem to know what my body needs.

 As soon as I made any progress I used to injure myself and have consider alternatives to going to the gym..I switched on QVC to see how many inventive ways the seller could talk about how marvellous an everyday product was and how we all couldn’t live without it. I saw the body blade being advertised. It sounded just what I needed to tone me up without going to the gym. It was invented by Bruce Hymanson an American Physiotherapist and is good for coordination and core stability. So it’s  very good for dyspraxics providing you have a paper lampshade in your living room and not a crystal chandelier. On the body blade Facebook group Leslie Sansone Walking Videos were recommended. I found the steps were easy enough for me to follow where other workouts warm ups were difficult enough to co-ordinate, without doing the fast bit. I now do her advanced walk with hand weights.

I also bought an Urban rebounder so I could do more advanced workouts without damaging my joints. So what if I don’t get the moves perfect I can do intermediate without falling off my trampoline. I exercise 6 days a week at home usually first thing in the morning. More often than when I went to the gym and have made more progress without injuring myself.

My HRT was making me behave like a cross between Attila the Hun & the Grumpy Grufallo so I gradually came off it.  I find exercise helps with my hormonal grumpiness. The combination of my new exercise regime and coming off the HRT made me go more than 3lbs below my target weight without even trying, so it was definitely the HRT that contributed to my very gradual weight loss. So I decided to reset my target weight to 9 stone as I was at 9stone 2lbs, rather than putting it back (In case it triggered my binge eating again).

 So for the past 5 months I have maintained my new target weight at the moment I’m slightly below it.  I like eating healthy foods and if I really fancy something less healthy I ll have it but don’t just eat things at work because they are there. I have a few treats at home but eat the higher calories foods at work if out for a meal or at a friend’s house. I also joined Debbie Flint’s Sister facebook group to the Bodyblade group. ’Til the fat lady slims’ which teaches Freedom eating, which is what I did 20 years ago. In the book Debbie gives an account of how she got out of dieter’s prison stopped yoyo dieting and broke free from binging.

Some people have hinted that I might not be eating enough. They are reassured when they see me eating something high calorie or ask me how can I be slim and eat so much. If you do slimming world it’s not how much you eat but what you eat that counts. Men look at me on the tram and some smile. I’m not good at reading men’s body language telling if that means they fancy me. Sometimes I think they are smiling because I’ve left my jean’s zip open occasionally I have :-). I’m more well-toned and slimmer than I was in my 20s & 30s and I actually have a small waist. I have received a lot of compliments about my figure and how well I look especially from people who don’t see me very often.